Throat punch

If ever today I had every right to punch somebody in the throat, it was today.

I had to work from 7:30-10:30 today. Xavier was a psychopath for at least an hour after I picked him up from the sitter. Screaming, crying, whining, running away from me...the whole 9 yards.

I wanted to train about 11:30, that didn't happen thanks to Mr. "I don't want you Mommy". Listening to a child scream for 5 minutes sucks. Listening to your OWN child scream for an hour REALLY freaking BLOWS. There's NO chance his mom will get him away from you...because YOU ARE THE MOM!!!!!

I make him lunch after he comes downstairs and is finally over himself. Then I clean up all the crap my family so kindly left for me, clean up a few piles of cat barf, and try to nap while Xavier watches tv. No luck. He's a monster.

Xan had 5 pages of homework plus reading. I need to go to the store, the kids freak out and don't want to leave. Xan and I dash out after Dad gets home.

Xavier screams, for a change.

At the store, my almost 8 year old turns into an emo 15 year old. He decides he doesn't want a party, a present, he's stupid and he hates himself.

Perfect.

I try to coax him into telling me what is up, we walk outside into the rain.

He slips and falls into a puddle. He's even more upset and withdrawn. We walk to the car, and a GROWN ASSED MAN and his son are snickering and the Dad says "Hee hee I'm a skater dude, I can't even walk".

WHHHAAAAT? I turn and say "F-You, you bag of shit! What the hell is wrong with you"
But I stop, because Xan is staring at me in horror.

"Did that man just call me fat? That's just great."

I tell him he made fun of his hair because it's long, and he's jealous because he's old and all his hair is gone.

Honestly? I want to lock Xan in the car and beat that guy's ass.

So instead I leave a note on his car.

"We heard you make fun of my autistic child because he fell. I hope you're really pleased with yourself, I know you totally made my day."

So I embellished a little with the Autistic thing. He's not exactly autistic, but he's got developmental delays and other issues, like balance. He made fun of my son IN FRONT OF HIS OWN. I wanted to kill him. I can't believe I didn't. I can't believe I left a note. I should have wrote it in a sharpie on his windshield.

On the ride home Xan tells me he's a big, fat, stupid idiot with no friends.

I'm not ready for this, he's only 8. I thought this was reserved for girls?

He makes me cry big, fat crocodile tears. This little boy who doesn't have a mean bone in his body is hurting, and I don't know how to fix it.

I go back to work (WHAT? Everyone doesn't go to work 2-3 times a day?) come home and it's as if it never happened. He wants a party, he wants presents.

I'm mad.

Then he says "I'm sorry I acted like that. Please forgive me."

I cry again. I'm not looking forward to teenage years.