Xan is breaking my heart. He keeps lying about things. Today was the worst- he lied about something that happened at school. Because he is in special needs classes he misses out on some (not many) things that go on in his general ed class. SO he said he didn't get a donut in class today because he didn't complete a writing assignment. I asked him several times, he mentioned something about his desk not being clean. I asked "WHY did you not get a donut? Was it the desk or the writing." He said the desk was a lie, it was about the writing. I wrote a very nice note to the teacher asking her to clarify and boy did she ever. Xan didn't clean his desk in time, it had nothing to do about homework. He told me she made him cry (over the donut) and never comforted him (which chapped my ass) which was ANOTHER lie. He had a meltdown in computer lab because he couldn't get the characteristics of self things down.
sigh
I'm well aware that it's part of the process, all kids lie. And for those of you laughing at this or saying "It gets worse" or feeling smug at my expense....feel better now? Because that's the reaction I've gotten from people today. Does your child also suffer through every academic moment in school? Is your child mature enough to play a sport without crying or being picked on by the other kids? Can your kid have friends over for more than 30 mintues without having to talk your kid through a meltdown or a shutdown? Can you relate to this? No? GOOD for YOU!!!!
Because mine does all of this. And it fucking sucks. SO when he comes home from school telling me he was crying because he didn't get a donut because he didn't complete an assignment that was given to the "NORMAL" kids, you'd understand why I was in a rage. It's a bigger picture- it's not missing out on a donut it's missing out on LIFE. Missing out on things most of you take for granted with your kids.
When you're in such a state of rage, guilt, and sadness for your kid and then find out he was full of shit? You really can't put a fucking finger on how I feel inside.
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3 comments:
I'm sorry you're going through this Janis. One of my dearest friends from childhood was a special needs teacher for years and years and now she's an administrator for her school district's special needs programs. She really knows what parents go through! I can only imagine.
I wish I could say more than, "Hang in there." So I'll just offer virtual hugs. Take care!
Hey there Lilly! Thanks for the hugs. Your friend is an angel, it takes such a special person to do what she does. Usually I'm so grateful because he could be so much worse- but today was just a rough day! :) I'll be hanging on!
I think as parents we often forget how it feels in the moment of a situation like this and we lack empathy when it is needed the most. Sorry for the craptastic smug reactions you've received. You will only get virtually hugs from me.
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