"Have'nt been her daughter in years. I walked out on my Mom while, SHE did everything. The only reason I want to see her is to clear my own conscience. You didn't care about Mom a week ago when you thought she was OK, now you care because you think she's going to die. And when you aren't happy 35 year old Janis goes crying to Daddy and he yells at me. I lifted it- but you'll never know the details like I do. I know what she wants. I know what's best for her. I'm the one who's been picking her up off the floor since I was 10. You turned your back on her and I had to take care of her. You are nothing to her, I'm the one she loves and trusts. That's why I'm the proxy and not you."
My sister, my only sister said that to me. Apparently I'm a bad person for choosing life. For giving my bottom line and sticking to it. For saving myself- for being happy and having an incredible family. This is nothing more than her way of hurting me. Sadly when this crisis should be about being there for Mom, it's turning into my sister's sick pity party. "You can't hurt as bad as me because you're in Georgia. I love her more because I was "there" for her". She won't let me see her, let me know about her. She's keeping her to herself like some sick addiction. I think she's just as addicted to my Mom's love and approval as my Mom is to alcohol.
To me, enabling an alcoholic is not being there for her. That's helping her kill herself. I know I did what I had to do for me. I had to get myself away from the drama (such as this) in order to give my children the love, kindness and attention they deserve. If you come between me and my kids- you GOTS to go. That goes for my Mom, my sister, my job, my old man...
Now I have to listen to this horrible shit she hurls at me with a sick and twisted delight in order to find out what's new with my Mom. Even that information is diluted in a way that best serves my sister at that moment. I promise- when this is said and done I am never speaking to that wretched, hateful, horrible person again. I will send her child presents and try to be in it's life, but as for my sister- she and her hate can have each other. I'm better than that and I won't feed into it. If that means I've lost my Mom forever and will never be able to say goodbye before she dies- so be it. I pray for my Mom and my sister both. Maybe God will send a lightening bolt down on her butt.


1 comment:
It's so difficult living around people with addictive personalities. My Father In Law also battles alcohol and drug dependencies. I had to almost cut him off completely from seeing his grandchildren for a while. They don't need to see their granddad like that. That shouldn't be the memory they have of him later in life. My grandfather was also an alcoholic and I never got to meet him because of it.
It's so sad when a family does this to each other. They have no idea the hurt they can cause. I think you are right about your sister's addiction as well. Maybe God will help her out with her self-righteous attitude. We can only hope.
We really do need to get together sometime. We really are way too much alike! :)
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